Brave and Strong
by samettikettu
Summary: Everything made sense now, why Sabo hadn't hugged him back and why he didn't say much to him during their brief meetings. Or why he hadn't waited till he woke up. Sabo blamed him for Ace's death. [Oneshot]


**Hi.**

 **It's been too long.**

 **Those who follow me on Tumblr are aware of what I think of canon!Sabo. I hope you enjoy :3**

Characters (c) Eiichiro Oda

Story (c) samettikettu

Beta (c) freckledbastard

* * *

Even for a short moment, he was happy to be with his brother.

He didn't feel as close to anyone else but to him. They were brothers, not by blood, but by a promise that was stronger than blood could ever be.

He had sworn to continue on living, even at the worst of times. Even when the life itself seemed hopeless and he was blinded by sadness and anger, he continued to move forward.

That was the promise he had given to his big brother, who had died saving him. He had made him promise not to waste his life on revenge and to keep pursuing his dream.

He blamed himself for being too weak to save his big brother - that was why he went there, to save him! But his brother had no regrets on sacrificing himself for his _weak_ little brother's sake. Because that was what big brothers did, because they were supposed to be stronger and braver than the little brothers.

He could never be as strong or brave as his big brother.  
He might be a strong and brave captain, but never a brave or strong brother.

He had faced death many times before when protecting his friends. He had beaten every villain who had crossed his path and made fun of his friends and family. He knew that those people who insulted his dream were afraid of him and the title. No sane person ever declared becoming the king of pirates unless they were serious. And he was more than serious, and everyone knew it.

So when people insulted him and his dream, he paid them no mind.

His crew needed a strong and brave captain and a friend.

But what he needed, was a strong and brave older brother.

He never said it aloud, but at the darkest hours of night, when everyone else was asleep, dreams and memories kept haunting him. How he wished he had someone to hold him close, to whisper encouraging words in his ears and to pet his hair, but the captain must never show their weakness to their crew. They knew his physical weaknesses, how easy he was to fool and how naïve he was, but they must never know the sorrow and self-hatred he hid deep inside.

His crew had all faced loss but had overcome them after joining him, he had helped them. So if he was a fair captain and a good friend, he would ask them to help him, but he couldn't. He hated himself for it even more. He was too weak to ask for their help.

' _I bet Ace never had this problem'_ , he thought to himself, reminded by how happy his brother had been after finding his new family.

xxxxxx

On their way to Dress Roba, Torao had pulled him aside and asked him if he was ready for the big fight. He had wondered in confusion, why wouldn't he be?

Torao had given him a blank stare, then told him he was both a surgeon and a captain. He had been through a lot and he could tell when someone was keeping secrets. Torao had seen _through_ him.

He laughed and tried to reassure Torao, that he was okay! Why wouldn't he be? He was just so excited about kicking Mingo's butt, he couldn't stay in his skin!

"Your crew might be blind and fooled by your stupidity, but I am not. You are not okay, and once this all is over, we two will talk."

Torao left and Zoro appeared, asking what was wrong. Zoro had a bottle of alcohol in his hand and seemed to be drunk.

He shook his head with a grin, "Torao wanted to make sure I remember tomorrow's plan!"

Zoro hiccupped and went to get something to eat.

He had lied to them again. He felt bad but this was for their own good, what kind of a captain would show his weakness to his crew before a big fight? They had bigger things to worry about.

xxxxxx

' _Mingo has Ace's fruit..!'_

All air is stuck in his throat and he can't speak nor breathe. He _has_ to have it. A memento of his precious big brother.

If he had that, he could be strong again!

That fruit belonged to Ace and and Ace belonged to him.

Franky understood the urgency when he asked to delay the plan. He _needed_ that fruit. Franky understood him and allowed him to attend to the match.

Nothing else mattered right now.

He was getting that fruit and nothing was stopping him!

xxxxxx

Who was this person and why was he talking to him like that? Why was this person acting like he knew everything about him?

How did this person know his name?

How did this person know about his dream of becoming the king of pirates?

The person smiled and took off their hat.

He couldn't believe his eyes.

He cried.

He was so happy!

 _Sabo was alive!_

He jumped and hugged Sabo, who was speaking calmly. His eyes never met his and he didn't hug him back. He felt hurt but pushed that aside. Sabo was alive and in front of him!

He wasn't alone!

xxxxxx

It took all he had but he finally beat Mingo and the whole kingdom was free. When he had agreed to help Torao, he never thought it was going to be this big, but he should have known his luck.

He tried to finish it all quickly so he'd have time to talk with Sabo.  
He did see his brother during the fight, when Teach's guy tried to take his head while he was weak after using Gear Four.

But Sabo was there, his strong and brave older brother was there. He was surprised and happy to see him protect him when he was at his weakest state. He felt bad for doubting him even for a second. He had closed his eyes and let his consciousness fade, knowing he was in good hands.

But when he woke up, Sabo wasn't there.  
He heard from Zoro that Sabo left while he was still asleep. Zoro told him what Sabo had told them and how they had promised to look out for him and keep him safe - like Ace had back in the desert on their way to Vivi's kingdom.

He had no time to feel glum because they were moving as soon as he got the last pieces of the meat down his throat.

Back on board, he finds a piece of his Vivre card missing.

xxxxxx

It takes the crew a while to get back together.

He doesn't hear from Sabo again and he starts to wonder, why was Sabo acting so distant during their reunion. They were in a hurry, Torao was hurt and he needed to help him and beat Mingo's butt.

And sure, they had to hurry off the island to meet Torao's crew alongside with Nami and the others. But a brief catching up wouldn't have hurt anybody, right? They could have given Sabo a ride to the next island or he could have stayed with them for a while?

"He's a little shy and awkward around new people", Robin had told him one evening when it was the two of them. Apparently, Robin had spent the two years training with his dad and met Sabo. She then explained what she had learnt from Koala, Sabo's friend. How Sabo had had an amnesia and got all of his memories back when Ace's death hit the news. Sabo had had a breakdown and fallen into a coma for three days. "He cried and swore to protect you, in the name of Ace. He saw it as his duty as your older brother."

"But why didn't he stay and tell me this himself?" he asked. Robin smiled and put her hand on his shoulder. But even she couldn't answer what was going on Sabo's head.

"Give him time."

He did.

xxxxxx

He was at the end of his patience.

After learning about Ace from the papers, Sabo had had over two years to find him and come talk to him! To see him!  
Robin had told him to give Sabo time to get head around the things. To feel comfortable enough to come to him.

But he had almost had it.

He had waited.

Sabo had been dead to them for 12 years and now, all of a sudden, he appears out of nowhere and takes Ace's fruit. He was glad the fruit was in good hands but somehow he felt like Sabo didn't fully deserve the fruit.

He saw the fruit as part of Ace, part of Ace's soul was in that fruit and Sabo took it and was now the fruit, or they were now one.

Didn't Sabo want anything to do with him now that he had the fruit?

Sabo and Ace did have a history together before he tagged along - forced himself among them. But Ace wouldn't be what he was before he died without him. Though, he probably wouldn't be dead if it weren't for him, the weak little brother.

Did, did Sabo blame him for Ace's death?

He hadn't been strong enough to save him, and even when he gave all he had, he hadn't been brave or strong enough.

If Sabo had been there, had remembered and come to aid him, he bet they'd have gotten Ace out safe and sound.

He felt cold and faint.

His older brother hated him for not being able to save his big brother.

Everything made sense now, why Sabo hadn't hugged him back and why he didn't say much to him during their brief meetings. Or why he hadn't waited till he woke up.

He was only paying his respects to Ace's death wish by taking care of him. He had, after all, made a promise to Ace that he'd take care of him now. To make sure Ace's death wasn't in vain.

Sabo was only thinking about Ace, not him.

He was the reason Ace was dead, he knew that much. He had learned it from Blackbeard, Ace had given up his freedom for his sake.

By protecting his life, Sabo was respecting Ace's final wish.

Everything was spinning in his eyes and he never noticed how close to the railing he had gotten when a rather big wave hit the side of the ship. He managed to gasp a breath when the ocean swallowed him and the world went black.

xxxxxx

He was alive, of course he was.

His crew would never let him die on their watch.  
Sanji had seen him fall in and dived after him with Zoro close behind. Chopper had prepared the medical bay with Robin's help.

He laughed and thanked his crew for saving his life.

He never saw them exchange worried looks.

xxxxxx

He was laughing for what felt the longest time.

They had docked to a small island to restock, but at the middle of shopping in the small yet busy city, he had run into a couple of Marine grunts. He and Zoro were running around the town, luring the marines away from the others so they could continue shopping.

Zoro, of course, got lost and left him with all of the five Marine grunts. But he didn't mind that, he was having fun!

A game of cat and mouse!

Oh, he hadn't played that for awhile, not since coming to the New World.

The only downside was that he wasn't familiar with the city's structure so he ran into a couple of dead ends, but got away by using his rubber abilities.

After a while, the grunts gave up and went to report him to the higher-ups instead. He pouted and blew a raspberry at their direction. No stamina whatsoever.

He didn't see two of the grunts appear behind him with a metal net.

He'd gotten careless and underestimated New World's Marine officers. Of course they were prepared to catch a pirate with devil fruit powers! The net was thrown over him and he felt his powers fade, making him feel more weak and powerless. _Defenceless._

The net was different from the ones he had faced before. This must've had more sea-stone and meant to stop bigger and more powerful fruits. He tried to concentrate and use his Haki but couldn't. His vision was swimming and his body was starting to shake.

He shouted for Zoro.  
He knew Zoro would hear him - could sense him.

One of the officers kicked him in the face and he spat blood on their shoes. After another kick, his world went black.

xxxxxx

He was awake but couldn't see anything.  
Something was tickling his face and pressing his against eyes. He was blindfolded, the material itched and he wanted to rub his eyes. He sat uncomfortably on a cold, hard ground and his arms were locked behind his back with seastone. He pulled his knees clumsily up against his chest.

The ground was covered in water, sea water. It reached his ankles, and it was enough to make him feel weak and powerless. The salt burned the skin under the leg cuffs.

He could smell blood on himself.

His nose was probably broken and his left knee felt funny, swollen. His chest and sides hurt. What had happened while he was out?

Was he out back then?

He could remember.. glimpses… of them, hurting him, trying to break him.

But his mind had shut itself down to save him from further damage. He did remember the insults, the hits and kicks, how they called him and his crewmembers by names, _disgusting_ names. How they had brought up the war behind two years, told the rumours they had heard from Impel Down, what they _had done to Ace down there_.

And how he was going to experience it _twice_ as hard.

He wondered what day it was, how long he had been here.

Had his friends realized he was gone? Probably.  
Were they looking for him? No doubt.

He tried to shout but all he could hear was his echo from the halls.

He placed his chin on his knees and waited.  
His friends would come for him.

xxxxxx

Next day (he guessed) he was awoken by a rude surprise.

A Marine grunt, who thought much of themselves, came into his cell and started to make fun of him. He paid them no mind.

When the Marine realized they were being ignored, they strove right in front of him and grabbed him by his hair. He bared his teeth and breathed heavily through his nose. Under the influence of sea stone, he was a normal human with no special powers or strength.

The grunt made a noise of delight when they got a reaction out of him. They pulled their arms back and then forcefully pushed it forward, connecting his head with the stone wall behind him. He'd have seen stars, if he had saw anything from the blindfold.

The grunt proceeded to do the same five more times, then dropped him back to the floor. He groaned and hung his head low. The seawater had made his clothes wet and cold, he was freezing. They hung to his body uncomfortably and he shook a little, trying to pull his knees back up to keep the body temperature to himself.

The grunt wouldn't allow that.  
They kicked him over and put their feet on top of his head. With half of his face beneath the water, he ended up swallowing water and getting it up to his nose. The grunt pushed his leg down harder and he groaned at the pressure.

He couldn't breath, his nose was under the water and he kept inhaling water in his mouth. He shut his mouth.

He tried to kick them off, but the leg cuff wouldn't let his move his legs far from the ground.

Finally, they had had enough and they released him.  
Before they left, they kicked him in the stomach, making him retch.

He heard the cell door make noise as it was pulled open too forcefully and then slammed shut. Making sure the stupid grunt was far from his cell, he carefully pushed himself up and coughed all the remaining water out of him.

That had been horrible.

Once he was out of here, he'd find the person with that voice and beat them into a bloody pulp.

xxxxxx

Six days.

He had been here for _six days_ and yet still no sign of his crew!

He was starving and thirsty. The water on the ground was beyond drinkable after what the marine grunts had done to him. It was probably mixed with his blood and spit. He had dared to spit at their direction when they had attacked him, angering them even more.

Everything hurt.

But what hurt even more, was the fact he was _alone_ down here. There was no one but him and the occasional Marine grunts that came to beat him up some more.

He had heard one of them say that he was about to be shipped to Impel Down these following days. They were just waiting for the ship to come and pick him up.

He chuckled and leaned his head back against the cold wall behind him.

So, this was it.

This was how his story was going to end.

He just hoped one of his crew members was brave and strong enough to stand up and be the new captain.

He heard several footsteps come down the hallway.

So it was that time once again. He didn't move when cell door was opened and three grunts stepped inside.

"It's time to play, Straw Hat", one of them said. He blew a raspberry at them. He might be imprisoned and awaiting for a death penalty but he still wouldn't be submissive to grunts like these.

"Put that thing on him."

What _thing_?

"Roger that."

Someone came next to him and grabbed his head. He opened his mouth to yell at him and something blocked it. A piece of wood was put between his teeth and then tied around his head, effectively gagging him.

"They're shipping you away tomorrow morning and we want to have a little fun with you, but the guys upstairs aren't going to be too happy if they wake up by your shouts. So you need to be real quiet, eh?"

His eyes widened under the blindfold.

Tomorrow morning?!

The other two came closer and at that moment, he realized how scared he was. He bit down hard on the wood and pushed back against the wall as much as he could.

The water on the floor moved and splashed as they all crowded him.

The first kick hit his side and the next his stomach. Then he was grabbed by the hair and thrown to the ground. He heaved through his nose and coughed past the gag. The taste of iron hit his tongue.

Hands were on him before he was ready and he was punched across the face and chest repeatedly.

Among the beating, an explosion shook the building, but he thought it was just the blood pumping in ears and fists connecting with him.

The grunts stopped and he heard one of them move up to the hallway. The other two waited anxiously.

He was breathing hard through his nose. He tried to move but was once again flung across the room. He hit the wall hard and slid down to the ground. He'd hid his head. He was blacking out.

Had the water level raised?  
Oh no, he laid on his stomach, face under water.

Pair of hands grabbed him by his neck and raised him up. The cuffs and wet clothes were weighing him down. He coughed.

Steady footsteps were coming down the hallway.

He was waiting for the grunt to finish him.

"Hey, who are-"

A shout of pain and a sickening sound of something hard hitting flesh. He could smell burnt skin and meat. The person holding him was shaking, trying to get words out of his mouth. He felt heat close to his face and he was dropped. But before he could hit the ground, someone caught him.

He was held against a clothed chest, a hand on his head kept petting him reassuringly and sweet nothings were whispered in his ears.

Screams of pain and terror echoed from the walls but he couldn't care less. He went slack in the person's hold and could hear them voicing their worry through the screams. The last thing he knew was the sickening smell of burning skin and meat.

xxxxxx

He wasn't among his friends when he woke up.

To be able to see again was amazing and he took a moment to stare the room he was in. He didn't really pay attention to where he was or who was or wasn't there, he just enjoyed seeing again.

He pushed himself to sit on the comfortable bed but yelped when his arms gave up under him. He fell on his back. He brought his arms up to look at them and was shocked to see how heavily bandaged they were. He peeked under the duvet and sneered when he saw his legs. He couldn't see past his knees but knew his ankles would be the worst he had to see yet.

A knock came from the door and someone entered the room.

"I see you're awake",

His eyes widened when he recognized the voice.

"Sabo?!" he tried to say but ended up coughing the name. Sabo was by his side in a flash and helped him up. Sabo held out a glass of water and helped him to drink it down. Sabo then let him lean against him and put the pillows against the bed's head so he could sit comfortably.

He stared at his older brother awestruck. Had he come to save him?

"Your crew called me. I'm sorry it took me so long to reach you", Sabo sounded pained. "I noticed something weird about your Vivre card just before they called me."

Sabo pulled out the small piece of the card from his dress shirt's chest pocket. It was a little burnt around the edges and made small movements towards him. The state of the paper made him think back to Ace and his card and he cringed. He peered up to see pain and worry on Sabo's face. His eyes were tired and he had dark circles around his eyes.

"Those Marines were hiding underground, at the other side of the island. You were practically under water."

No wonder there was water on the floor…

Sabo pocketed the piece of paper.

His eyes were tender as he looked him up and down. His older brother brought his fingers up to his face and touched the scar under his left eye. Then they moved up to his hair and down his neck.

He was holding his breath.  
His whole body was tense and he was waiting Sabo to hurt him somehow. And apparently Sabo realized it but pulled him carefully into a hug.

His older brother wrapped his arms around his and hugged him tight.

He was surprised, to say at least. This time, he was the one who couldn't react to the hug even if he wanted to. His arms ached and felt heavy, he couldn't lift them.  
He felt so small compared to Sabo.

Sabo's hands were gripping him like lifeline and his older brother buried his face between his shoulder and neck. He could have complained that it hurt, he could have. But he didn't want to. Because as much as this might've hurt, he needed and deserved this.

He heard Sabo mutter something against him but couldn't make out what. Sabo slowly unwrapped his arms around him and held his face instead. He looked into both of his eyes.

Sabo then leaned forward and kissed his forehead.  
Then both of his eyes.

Cheeks and nose.

Then his forehead again.

He was pulled back into Sabo's arms and felt Sabo let out a shuddering breath.

"I thought I'd _lost_ you for good!"

"I was so mad when I heard them talking trash about you and my blood ran cold when I heard them talk about shipping you to Impel Down next morning! I had planned a sneak attack but then I heard their drunken laugh and I just _exploded_ ", Sabo was petting his hair.

"I beat everyone who crossed my way and then found the way to the cells under the seafloor. I heard you, Luffy, _oh my god_ , I heard you!"

Sabo was rocking him back and forth, still petting his head.  
He was starting to feel drowsy.

"I saw you, in that man's arms. I couldn't let them hurt you anymore, so I hurt _them_ instead."

"You killed them, didn't you..?"

Sabo's hand stopped for a second. Then it continued to pet him carefully and lovingly.

"Of course I did. They hurt you. They deserved every last of what I did to them. They _all_ did."

He couldn't get himself to care.

He shut his eyes and breathed in his older brother's scent.

"I thought you hated me, for being so weak, for not being able to save Ace", he confessed.

Sabo stopped his rocking and pushed him against the pillows. He was staring him down hard. "I could never."

"But, you never wanted to talk to me back at Dress Roba and you just took off and never got back to me and and-"

"Because I didn't know how to _approach_ you, Luffy! I, I don't _know_ you like Ace did and honestly, my head was full of getting Ace's fruit at the time and I almost didn't want to meet you but-"

His eyes must've showed how hurt he was by the new learnt fact, Sabo stuttered when he tried to find new words to continue.

"B-b-but th-then I, uh, I was re-reminded b-by our days t-together and I, Ace, he-he'd want, no I mean, he wouldn't want his-"

It was as he had thought.  
He tried to move out of Sabo's hold but his older brother's grip tightened and made him wince. Sabo didn't look apologetic at all. He could hear him growl under his breath, his eyes widened at that.

A sweet smile spread on his scarred face. "Hear me out, please?" Sabo's voice was sweet and tender, but his whole being was tense and ready to explode, or _rip something apart_. Sabo's hands were shaking.

"I meant to say, Ace wouldn't want his baby brother to lose his life so soon after saving him. I made a promise to keep on Ace's will and keep protecting you in his shoes."

Sabo's was quick to continue after clearing his throat.

"But not just for his behalf, but also mine. I want to look after you and keep you safe for _my_ sake!"

"I want to be part of your life Luffy, just like Ace was."

"I want to be your big brother again."

"I want to hear about your adventures, about your friends, about _you_! I want to _learn to know_ you again."

Sabo smiled and moved his hand up to his face and swept the tears from his eye with his thumb. When had he started to cry?

His lower lip trembled and he took in a shaky breath, he nodded his head frantically and grabbed the hem of Sabo's shirt. Sabo smiled and pulled his little brother into a another hug.

He hugged his older brother.

He wept against his older brother's chest.

He tried to make words come out of his mouth, sentences to tell how much he had missed Sabo, how much he had missed to have a brother, a big brother.

Sabo hummed and kept rocking them on the bed, his hand buried in Luffy's hair as kept massaging his scalp. He kept pressing reassuring kisses on Luffy's forehead and hair and his little brother's cries started to fade.

xxxxxx

His little brother was finally asleep.  
Luffy was clutching his shirt like lifeline, and he found it both amusing and adorable.  
This man might be the infamous pirate captain and the next king, but first and foremost Luffy was _his_ little brother.  
And he was going to make sure he did right to him. The world was going to be his witness, as he was going to clear out the path for his darling little brother to walk upon.

With a small fight, he managed to get himself free from Luffy's hold and pulled the pillows under his head and the duvet over his little body until it reached his nose.

He gave his little brother one last look before reaching for his jacket and top hat.  
He went for the door and grabbed his choice of weapon. The pipe was covered in copper marks, both of ends were covered in red. His shoes were a mess, he needed buy a new pair.

They were covered in gore and mud, and there was probably a small hole somewhere because the water had gotten in and ruined his socks.

He had gotten most of the blood and dirt off his jacket and pants, but his gloves were the worst right after his shoes. If it weren't for his scars still being tender and sensitive under sun light, he'd wear less clothing.

Sabo smiled as he opened the door and went downstairs to the lobby and exited the small motel.  
He had booked the whole building, making sure he and his little brother could be at peace while Luffy was healing.

The owner was more than happy to book the whole building to them.  
She even went down to the only pharmacy in the town to buy all the supplies he needed to wrap Luffy up.

Walking through the town, he made it to the port and down the docks to where Luffy's ship was at.  
His smile widened and his eyes darkened as he saw the crew huddled together, something flashed in their eyes as they saw him and the fire spreading on the decks as he made his way towards them.

Where he walked, grass burned to the shape of his footprints.

He swung his pipe and removed his hat.

The crew pulled away. Roronoa Zoro, despite being heavily injured, pushed everyone behind him and held out the broken Wadou with a shaking hand.

Sabo smiled hauntingly.

He had a small pirate crew to teach a lesson or two, how to take proper care of _his_ darling little brother and not lose him to a worthless beings like Marines…

 **~fin~**

* * *

 **There is clearly not enough Yandere!Sabo :3c**

 **#Get rekt Sabo**

 **I created a profile on AO3 and this will be the first thing I'm putting there.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **\- same/ame**


End file.
